| Helllooo Gorgeous!!! Give us all the good good on who you are and what you do!! Feel free to brag a lot!!: |

Hello hello! Happy to be here. I’m Brook Dorff and I specialized in mental health surrounding pregnancy, postpartum and parenthood. I love what I do and I’m thrilled to be able to share ALL THE THINGS on maternal mental health.

| What does maternal mental health cover? |

When we are talking about maternal mental health, we mean: During pregnancy (but honestly, we also mean before!), and up to 1 year postpartum (but even longer if you breastfeed for longer!)Depression, Anxiety, OCD, PTSD, Psychosis, Bipolar, all during that time period ^All parents. All people thinking about becoming parents. All people who have a parent. All parents.| How can we best support those who are trying to conceive? | Family planning and building can be a very stressful time for some, depending on if you have trouble with the process, or with outside stressors (family member gets diagnosed with a terminal illness, loss/gain job, moving, etc.). The best things we can do for mental health is to not give advice if it’s not requested, listen, offer resources, and letting people know they’re not alone. Those who have difficulty (especially infertility, miscarriage, and infant loss) often suffer in silence, and it’s important they know they have someone they can turn to who won’t ask questions and won’t judge.One thing to keep in mind, is that having depression or anxiety before getting pregnant is the biggest predictor of postpartum depression (PRAMS Data)! So if you’re someone who is thinking about becoming a parent (mom/dad/parent), working on improving your mental health preventatively can be the best thing you can do for yourself! Join a support group before it gets bad. Start seeing a therapist before you feel like you need one. Learn about mental health during pregnancy and postpartum by going to postpartum.net.

| How can we best support those brand new parents? |

Brand new parents deserve all the support they can get -- and when we say “brand new parents” we mean parents who are having their first kid, or their sixth kid! There are a few important things to keep in mind when supporting new parents:

Offer specific help. Instead of asking “How can I help you?” try something specific like -- “Can I take your older kids out of the house for an hour?” or “Can I take care of your dinners the first Thursday of the month for the first year postpartum?” or “I’ll watch your baby while you work out on Monday and Wednesday.” Asking a new parent to think of ways you can help them is just asking them to do ONE.MORE.THING! And that’s the last thing they need.
Remember that “new parents” need help beyond the first six weeks. In fact, the time that parents suffer the most is after that 45 day mark. Most of our maternal suicide deaths occur 9-12 months postpartum when all the support is gone. Find ways to keep checking in on your friends way after you think they need help. After the church meals stop, and after all the parents and in-laws have left, and after partners and even moms have returned to work!
If you visit, don’t plan on staying, unless you’re going to help, or unless mom asked you to. Parents often feel bad asking friends and family to leave, but don’t want to feel like they have to tidy the house, entertain guests, or do much beyond care for the baby.
Send them resources! Let moms know that 1 in 3 moms experience maternal mental health issues (and 1 in 10 dads!), and it’s okay if they’re having trouble. Let them know there are free support groups, most online, (postpartum.net, or maternalmentalhealth.utah.gov if you’re in Utah), and therapists who specialize in this issue. With help, it does get better.
Some good ideas for gifts that mom might not even know she needs:
- Go in on a veggie delivery box with some friends. They’ll get fresh veggies delivered for a few months throughout the summer, helping them skip grocery shopping for a few days. Bonus: it lasts beyond a few months postpartum!
- Pay for one or two postpartum doula visits (another good group gift). Doulas can help mom for a few hours doing anything she needs her to do -- help with lactation consulting, cleaning up the house, cooking meals, letting mom sleep/shower by watching baby, etc. There are even over night doulas that can listen for a baby crying, and wake mom so she doesn’t have to be on high alert.
- Deliver a meal through Doordash! You can do this from afar.
- The book “Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts” by Karen Kleinman. It’s a great book with worksheet-like pages that help moms realize their feelings are normal. You can get it on Amazon for about $10!

| Does this impact adoptive parents? |

Yes yes yes! Perinatal (which means during pregnancy and up to one year postpartum) mood and anxiety disorders can actually impact adoptive parents, gestational carriers, grandparents, non-birthing parents, LGBTQI couples, couples experiencing infertility and miscarriage, and anyone who is supporting pregnant/postpartum families. This is because it’s a very complex issue! Yes, hormones have a small part in this (fun fact: your hormones actually DO change, even if you’re not the one giving birth!), but so do so many other things!We know that outside stressors: financial, emotional, lack of sleep, nutrition, other health issues (your own and your loved ones’), previous history of trauma, and so many other things affect perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, which means that all types of parents and people who support parents, can go through these mental health challenges! This is a huge life shift, to care for a newborn, and it will impact anyone involved in the process.Specifically for adoptive parents, there are additional worries like:“Will I ever bond with this baby?”“What if the birth parents changes their mind last-minute?”Over concern for the welfare of a baby they worked really hard forGuilt that they adopted a baby, over their friends in the adoptive community who maybe haven’t had the opportunity yetThe good news is that with help, you will be well. Seek a counselor or therapist who is trained in perinatal mood and anxiety disorders either by searching maternalmentalhealth.utah.gov in Utah, or postpartum.net elsewhere.

| What about the men? |

Men experience the same issues at 1 in 10, but we think this is underreported. They have similar feelings as moms, but different types of worries. Some things that impact men and dads are:

The financial burden of pregnancy, giving birth, postpartum, and children. Men are traditionally the breadwinners, and have to worry about how much things will cost, especially if there are unplanned events like an emergency c-section, ambulance transfer, lactation consultants, etc.
Having to return back to work much sooner than their partner is ready for. Most companies don’t offer paternity leave at the same length as maternity leave, which leaves them feeling like they’re “abandoning” their partner before they’re ready. This also leaves them feeling like they don’t have the opportunity to bond with their baby as readily as their partner, and they are left out of some major milestones.
Physical intimacy. It’s no secret that physical intimacy shifts immediately after giving birth. Additionally most birthing partners, although they may receive the go-ahead during their 6-week appointment, still don’t feel ready physically (their confidence is low, body might still be healing, and they are touched-out from breastfeeding, older children needing their physical attention), and emotionally (little to no sleep). This may impact a partner who hasn’t gone through the birthing process who finds connection through physical intimacy.
Feeling a loss of control during birth. Whether their partner is giving birth, or they’re watching a carrier/birth mother, there is only so much they can do to help. There are so many things that are out of their control, and when something goes differently than the plan, they feel a sense of failure. This can create PTSD for the partner, and a feeling of uselessness and defeat.

So what can we do? Acknowledge that partners experience this -- let them know it’s okay to talk about their feelings, and that they are valid. Additionally, there are specific support groups just for dads and men both locally, and nationally. Those resources can be found at: maternalmentalhealth.utah.gov or postpartum.net.

| What holistic health techniques can help? |

We worked with some local partners to create our favorite acronym, SUNSHINE! These are all things you can do to create the healthiest brain possible, according to science!

https://mihp.utah.gov/wp-content/uploads/SUNSHINE_FINAL_PDF.pdf

Screen+Shot+2020-07-22+at+4.28.24+PM.jpg

| Best health tip/trick/hack? |

Ask for help. You’re not a bad mom if you need help.

Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself. You know you best. If something feels off, don’t let a doctor dismiss you, or say “it’ll go away on its own.”

| What’s in your bag!? |

My literal bag haha? A brochure about maternal mental health lol! Also, my favorite chapstick (Sugar) and lipstick (Tarte), all the snacks (#Taurus), nail glue, lysol wipes and hand sanitizer, my mask, B vitamins and iron supplements, CBD oil, topical peppermint oil, a lacrosse ball (for massaging on-the-go), a stress ball for those meetings when I need them or for kids to play with, hot sauce, a portable battery for my phone (#SocialMedia), workout clothes just in case, back up hoops in case I ever forget mine in the morning, nail polish, a few stolen pens from doctors offices, post-it notes, and justin’s to-go almond butter packets. My bag weighs a solid 10 lbs at all times lol

| You know me, I’m all about the supplements! What are your favorites and why?! |

Favorite supplements are prenatal vitamins! And we always tell mommas, keep taking them even after you’ve given birth! They have a lot of good things that will help your brain operate at optimal! Also, fish oils (get those omegas!), and pre and probiotics! All of these supplements help the mind!

| Give us all your links so we can stalk the ish out of you! |

IG: @MaternalMentalHealthUtah

Website: https://mihp.utah.gov/maternal-mental-health

Resources: maternalmentalhealth.utah.gov

Thank you for coming on the Chanelle Cozette blog. This topic is one A LOT of my followers needed!

Xo,

Chanelle

Brook Dorff from Maternal Mental Health Utah